What happened
The FAA’s narrative, in sentence case. The FAA writes it in capitals and removes private details.
The pilot provided the following statement: first indication of any problem came when "gear up" was called for, the copilot lifted the handle and there was no response. Seconds later, maybe even simultaneously, the annunciator panel began to show indications of a hydraulic problem. I couldn't tell you the order in which they came on, but we had; low hydraulic fluid, aileron boost, aux hyd pump, low hyd press. I asked the copilot to request a return to the field and whether they wanted a left turn or right turn. The tower requested 2500' and left to return. We made the left turn while climbing to 2,500, where in the downwind leg we began troubleshooting, running through the checklist and diagnosing our problems. With all systems related to hydraulics lit on the panel and no hydraulic fluid indicated on the hydraulic volume gauge, it was apparent that we could expect to have no use of any hydraulic system. I requested an extended downwind in order to make sure that we had all our ducks in a row, had gone through the checklist, briefed what to expect, briefed what systems would and which would not work, and briefed the use of the pneumatic brakes in case they were needed. The tower obliged and told us to advise when turning base. We turned left base (guesstimating) 5 or 6 miles from the runway and advised. Tower cleared us to land #1. On final, gear had 3 green, flaps (electric) were configured, speeds were met. Upon touchdown, speed brakes, spoilers, toe brakes, and thrust reversers all proved to be inop as expected. "Feet off the brakes" was called out and I pulled the pneumatic brake lever. The initial pull had good braking action, but was quickly released when the tires locked up. The second pull had significantly less braking action (two of four main tires blew). Then there was no more braking action. Quickly surveying options and coming up empty, we prepared for a runway excursion.
Once we came to a stop beyond the runway and in the grass, we all got out uninjured.
As the FAA filed it
THE PILOT PROVIDED THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT: FIRST INDICATION OF ANY PROBLEM CAME WHEN "GEAR UP" WAS CALLED FOR, THE COPILOT LIFTED THE HANDLE AND THERE WAS NO RESPONSE. SECONDS LATER, MAYBE EVEN SIMULTANEOUSLY, THE ANNUNCIATOR PANEL BEGAN TO SHOW INDICATIONS OF A HYDRAULIC PROBLEM. I COULDN'T TELL YOU THE ORDER IN WHICH THEY CAME ON, BUT WE HAD; LOW HYDRAULIC FLUID, AILERON BOOST, AUX HYD PUMP, LOW HYD PRESS. I ASKED THE COPILOT TO REQUEST A RETURN TO THE FIELD AND WHETHER THEY WANTED A LEFT TURN OR RIGHT TURN. THE TOWER REQUESTED 2500' AND LEFT TO RETURN. WE MADE THE LEFT TURN WHILE CLIMBING TO 2,500, WHERE IN THE DOWNWIND LEG WE BEGAN TROUBLESHOOTING, RUNNING THROUGH THE CHECKLIST AND DIAGNOSING OUR PROBLEMS. WITH ALL SYSTEMS RELATED TO HYDRAULICS LIT ON THE PANEL AND NO HYDRAULIC FLUID INDICATED ON THE HYDRAULIC VOLUME GAUGE, IT WAS APPARENT THAT WE COULD EXPECT TO HAVE NO USE OF ANY HYDRAULIC SYSTEM. I REQUESTED AN EXTENDED DOWNWIND IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT WE HAD ALL OUR DUCKS IN A ROW, HAD GONE THROUGH THE CHECKLIST, BRIEFED WHAT TO EXPECT, BRIEFED WHAT SYSTEMS WOULD AND WHICH WOULD NOT WORK, AND BRIEFED THE USE OF THE PNEUMATIC BRAKES IN CASE THEY WERE NEEDED. THE TOWER OBLIGED AND TOLD US TO ADVISE WHEN TURNING BASE. WE TURNED LEFT BASE (GUESSTIMATING) 5 OR 6 MILES FROM THE RUNWAY AND ADVISED. TOWER CLEARED US TO LAND #1. ON FINAL, GEAR HAD 3 GREEN, FLAPS (ELECTRIC) WERE CONFIGURED, SPEEDS WERE MET. UPON TOUCHDOWN, SPEED BRAKES, SPOILERS, TOE BRAKES, AND THRUST REVERSERS ALL PROVED TO BE INOP AS EXPECTED. "FEET OFF THE BRAKES" WAS CALLED OUT AND I PULLED THE PNEUMATIC BRAKE LEVER. THE INITIAL PULL HAD GOOD BRAKING ACTION, BUT WAS QUICKLY RELEASED WHEN THE TIRES LOCKED UP. THE SECOND PULL HAD SIGNIFICANTLY LESS BRAKING ACTION (TWO OF FOUR MAIN TIRES BLEW). THEN THERE WAS NO MORE BRAKING ACTION. QUICKLY SURVEYING OPTIONS AND COMING UP EMPTY, WE PREPARED FOR A RUNWAY EXCURSION.
ONCE WE CAME TO A STOP BEYOND THE RUNWAY AND IN THE GRASS, WE ALL GOT OUT UNINJURED.